Posts Tagged ‘cute’

As always, mama went on vacation and left me to suffer at the kennel! She was gone for a whole week. I thought she was never coming back! Then, right before the kennel people said I could go, they stuck me in a tub and washed me and cut off all my luxurious hair! Uncle says I look like a raccoon. If I do, that means I am the cutest raccoon in DA WORLD!!!

xx,
Oakie

Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday Dear OAKIE! Happy birthday to me! I turned 12 yesterday, but mom forgot. What a crappy mom. She said she was planning on making me a dozen meat cupcakes, but she forgot all about that and she spent the day galavanting around the city instead of with me. When she got home, my uncle had to remind her that a certain someone had a certain birthday today. She felt really bad. But I felt worse.. who forgets the cutest dog’s birthday??! Shame on mama!

xx,
Oakie

Happy July 31st! I thought I’d make a blog entry just ’cause it’s the last day of the month, and I ain’t got nuthin’ else better to do! Well, I could be sleeping and eating a Snausage, but I know how important it is for you to get your daily dose of Oakie! So here I am. Bask in my adorableness!!

xx,
Oakie

I’m a tough dog. When I see people, I bark at them. When I see other animals, I bark my lungs out and make like imma git them! But the one thing I’m a total chicken about is thunder. I am so afraid of thunder. The other day I was out pooping and peeing, and I heard a human making noises on the other side of the fence. I barked at them to tell them to shut up! Then I saw a squirrel and I barked at it to tell that squirrel to shut up! Then I heard thunder and I ran to the closed door, pushed it open with my head, and ran inside to the safety of my mother’s arms. Yeah, yeah.. shut up!

xx,
Oakie

Mom can be a mean bia sometimes. When I am comfortably sleeping on the floor, she likes to put a heavy blanket on me. Aww you say? Not aww! The blanket is bulky and heavy and she puts it on top of my body and my head! Suffocating! But I’m so used to it, I don’t even move anymore. I’ll just keep sleeping until she starts to feel bad and takes it off. Can a pup get some peace ‘n quiet around here? Sheesh!

xx,
Oakie

EEK! It’s almost the end of June and I haven’t posted anything for this month yet! And who the heck says EEK? Not me! Mom gave me a haircut the other day. I hate it when she cuts my hair, so I often move around. Then one time she snipped my skin. It was just a surface wound, but sh*t that hurt! And I remembered it the next time she tried to cut my hair. I told her to back off, Oakie ain’t havin’ that! But she still cut my hair. Oh wells.

xx,
Oakie

Who knew I had a gay cousin!? He’s cute!!! And I say that in the most heterosexual way.

xx,
Oakie

ZOMG I’m the cutest Thor ever! I love wearing shirts! Actually, I don’t. But there’s not point in fighting it. Mom will put it on me if I like it or not. I guess it doesn’t hurt that I look super adorbs in clothing either. Pardon me, I must summon Mjölnir and strike down some cats! Thundercats! Ho-ohhhhhhhh!!!

xx,
Oakie

Mom has been cooking my food lately instead of feeding me the store-bought wet food and treats. She still feeds me doggy dry food, which I hate, but I guess I’ll eat it if the chicken she makes me is mixed in with it. Yesterday she ran out of the homemade chicken goop so she had to use the store-bought wet food. It didn’t sit well with my stomach. In fact, it was horrible to my intestines. I had the worst diarrhea. It was so bad that I couldn’t hold it anymore so I diarrhea’d all over the carpet and the rugs even though the hardwood floor was only 1 foot away from me. Yay for ruining the expensive rug! And best of all, I diarrhea’d all over it in three spots, and it was soaking into the rug since mom left for work.. eight hours! HAHA! But I don’t usually have accidents in the house. This is the first time in 10 years.. pretty good. And I couldn’t hold it for eight hours. Mom was nice and didn’t spank me. Next time feed me the homemade chicken slop!

xx,
Oakie

Mom bought me a new bandanna. It’s pretty cool. It’s a Captain America bandanna. She bought it for me because I’m a super hero, and I stand for all that is good in the world, and I know right from wrong, and I like to help people, and I’m a super soldier. NOT! I’m none of that. In fact, I just barfed all over the carpet instead of on the hardwood floor. It’s more fun that way!

xx,
Oakie