Archive for May, 2012

Who knew I had a gay cousin!? He’s cute!!! And I say that in the most heterosexual way.

xx,
Oakie

ZOMG I’m the cutest Thor ever! I love wearing shirts! Actually, I don’t. But there’s not point in fighting it. Mom will put it on me if I like it or not. I guess it doesn’t hurt that I look super adorbs in clothing either. Pardon me, I must summon Mjölnir and strike down some cats! Thundercats! Ho-ohhhhhhhh!!!

xx,
Oakie

Mom has been cooking my food lately instead of feeding me the store-bought wet food and treats. She still feeds me doggy dry food, which I hate, but I guess I’ll eat it if the chicken she makes me is mixed in with it. Yesterday she ran out of the homemade chicken goop so she had to use the store-bought wet food. It didn’t sit well with my stomach. In fact, it was horrible to my intestines. I had the worst diarrhea. It was so bad that I couldn’t hold it anymore so I diarrhea’d all over the carpet and the rugs even though the hardwood floor was only 1 foot away from me. Yay for ruining the expensive rug! And best of all, I diarrhea’d all over it in three spots, and it was soaking into the rug since mom left for work.. eight hours! HAHA! But I don’t usually have accidents in the house. This is the first time in 10 years.. pretty good. And I couldn’t hold it for eight hours. Mom was nice and didn’t spank me. Next time feed me the homemade chicken slop!

xx,
Oakie

Mom bought me a new bandanna. It’s pretty cool. It’s a Captain America bandanna. She bought it for me because I’m a super hero, and I stand for all that is good in the world, and I know right from wrong, and I like to help people, and I’m a super soldier. NOT! I’m none of that. In fact, I just barfed all over the carpet instead of on the hardwood floor. It’s more fun that way!

xx,
Oakie

Here’s a picture of me with demon eyes. They’re not really demon eyes, just glowing eyes thanks to mom’s camera flash. My eyes always reflect when the flash is on. I tell mom to remember to turn it off before taking a picture of me, but sometimes I’m so dark a flash is needed so you can see my face in the photo. I’m like, just turn on some more lights then! Geez! So lazy!

xx,
Oakie