Archive for June, 2010

Dear Diary, I need to stop counting the days because this is getting too depressing! I will just wait for the morning when the ladies that are taking care of me give me a bath, then I’ll know I’ll be seeing mommy soon! She is always so happy to see me, she gives me a hug and a kiss! YAY! Oops, I always seem to write when I’m about to go out for poopoo and peepee, so I’ll chat ya later!

xx,
Oakie

Dear Diary, Day 5 is today. Holy crap. Where the heck is she? I am getting used to being here now. I hope it’s not a two week vacation. That would really suck. But at least the ladies are nice here. I like having my own room, but I can see my doggy neighbors and hear them barking. That annoys me. I like it nice and quiet. I think it’s time for my afternoon poop now!

Love,
Oakie

Dear Diary, Today is day 4 without mommy. I am going out three times a day to poop, which is good because mama takes me out three times a day at home, too. I am also fed twice a day like mama does. The ladies at the kennel are nice, but they aren’t mama, and I miss her. When they give me a bath, I will know that’s the day she will pick me up and take me home! But I have no clue when that day will come! Sad. Miss my mommy. Hope she misses me too.

Love,
Oakie

Mommy went on vacation without me. Again. This time to Hawaii. She told me she was going to take me until she found out they don’t allow dogs on the island without them going through a long quarantine. No fair! I’m cleaner than mommy! Ok sure, I might smell like a wet dog at times, but it’s not my fault mama only gives me a bath once every few weeks! She is probably having a blast on the beach without me, while I am here stuck in a kennel. So unfair!!

xx,
Oakie

Summer sucks! It’s so hot! If I had balls, I’d feel sweat rolling down them! So thank goodness mama snipped them off when I was 6 months old. Phew! Just kidding. Not Phew. More like I can’t believe she took away my manhood before I even became a grown man. Now I’m an old foagie, age 10, without my jewels. Well, I’m not completely 10 yet. I’ll turn 10 in August. The hottest month EVAR! I can feel the sweat roll down my phantom balls!

I went with mom to work yesterday! I was sooo excited! She put the harness on me as if we were going for a walk, but as soon as she grabbed her purse I knew we were going someplace special and I just could NOT contain myself! I was bursting with fruit flavors of joyous joy joy joy! I hopped into the car and cried tears of happiness all the way there. When we parked, I peed and pooed (twice!) before getting inside the office. Oh boy oh boy oh boy I was excited! Then we get into her office, she sits down in front of the computer, and I’m stuck sitting next to her. Hmm, this scenario looks familiar. If I wanted to watch mom on the computer we could have just stayed home!! So now I’m all bored and whimpering because I want to go outside and play! I guess going to work with mom isn’t all that fun. Though I’d rather be with her than at home, sleeping alone.

xx,
Oakie

So yesterday I said I had mommy totally trained, well, today she has me totally trained! I am finally able to do my dog trick! Mom puts a delicious treat on my nose, and instead of me moving my head or curling up my lips or twitching or going cross eyed (okay, I still go cross eyed), I am able to keep the treat on my nose until mom says it’s okay to eat! She likes to put me through torture when it comes to yummy treats, but I will do anything to make her happy because I wuv her to pieces!! And she wuvs me to pieces too! We wuv each other to pieces! Now if only I could stay frozen long enough for mom to snap a photo.. oh well, you can’t win ’em all!

Cheese!
Oakie

I have mom trained really well. Whenever she walks past me or looks like she might come near me, I roll over onto my back and lift my paws up. This irresistible move on my part makes mama want to bend down and rub my belly. What a sucker! I walked into the bathroom when mom was in there and as she was about to step over me back into the bedroom, I saw her coming and quickly rolled on my side and cleared the area around my belly, and yep.. she rubbed it! Haha! I have her trained to bring me food, give me treats, scratch my ears, and give me belly rubs! Guess who’s master now! ME!!

Wacka wacka,
Oakie

Guess what?! Chicken butt! Okay, guess what again? Chicken fin! Just kidding, that doesn’t even make sense! But really, guess what?? Mama took me out on a long walk again! She skipped out on her work out so we went on a nice walk. While mama is getting fat, I am getting skinny!! Ooh I’m gonna look so sexy this summer all slimmed down in my swim trunks! I made two big poopies on the walk! And then just now after my nightly bathroom break, I burped like a dirty old man when mama was taking the harness off me. Hehe I’m funny!!

Toodles,
Oakie

Mommy took me on a long walk today and it isn’t even a weekend! She said it was because she didn’t exercise today. Hey, that’s cool with me! I wish she wouldn’t exercise everyday so we’d go on long walks more often! But then she’d be fat. But I don’t care. I love her no matter how she looks.. as long as she gives me treats. After our walk, she gave me a big dinner. I may have eaten a little too much. I puked twice. The first time I hid it from mama and ate it back up. The second time I up-chucked too loudly so she mopped up my vomit before I could eat it again. I’m hungry!

xx,
Oakie