It’s Oakie!

Ohai there. How are you? I’m good and cute as usual. People are building a house next to mine. I see the workers through my window. They make a lot of noise, so I bark at them constantly. I growl and let them know I’m watching them and they’d better back off! Then when mommy lets me go in the backyard to do my bidness, I hear the noises up close and it freaks the crap out of me and all I want to do is run back inside and hide in my kennel and then bark at them through the window, but only through the window because it’s much quieter with that buffer. I won’t even attempt to pee in the backyard if they are making loud noises outside. I guess I’m all bark and no bite, but don’t tell anyone else that. I need to keep up my tough guy appearance.

xx,
Oakie

Hello my friends! It’s been a while since I’ve updated this blog. Sorry about that. I’ve been busy traveling the world, going places no dog has gone, and taking long walks on the beach. Oh wait, I didn’t do any of those. Mom did. All I did was stay in the dog hotel and wait for her. On my last day at the dog hotel, they emptied out my room and I knew right then and there that it was time to go home! I was so excited that the kennel employee had a hard time putting on my harness! I was too jittery excited! Mom doesn’t deserve all this excitement! She’s had enough! Fun time for me! I hope there are a lot of trick or treaters tonight so I can bark and scare them with my ferocious growl. Grrr, baby!

xx,
Oakie

As always, mama went on vacation and left me to suffer at the kennel! She was gone for a whole week. I thought she was never coming back! Then, right before the kennel people said I could go, they stuck me in a tub and washed me and cut off all my luxurious hair! Uncle says I look like a raccoon. If I do, that means I am the cutest raccoon in DA WORLD!!!

xx,
Oakie

Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday to me, Happy birthday Dear OAKIE! Happy birthday to me! I turned 12 yesterday, but mom forgot. What a crappy mom. She said she was planning on making me a dozen meat cupcakes, but she forgot all about that and she spent the day galavanting around the city instead of with me. When she got home, my uncle had to remind her that a certain someone had a certain birthday today. She felt really bad. But I felt worse.. who forgets the cutest dog’s birthday??! Shame on mama!

xx,
Oakie

Happy July 31st! I thought I’d make a blog entry just ’cause it’s the last day of the month, and I ain’t got nuthin’ else better to do! Well, I could be sleeping and eating a Snausage, but I know how important it is for you to get your daily dose of Oakie! So here I am. Bask in my adorableness!!

xx,
Oakie

I’m a tough dog. When I see people, I bark at them. When I see other animals, I bark my lungs out and make like imma git them! But the one thing I’m a total chicken about is thunder. I am so afraid of thunder. The other day I was out pooping and peeing, and I heard a human making noises on the other side of the fence. I barked at them to tell them to shut up! Then I saw a squirrel and I barked at it to tell that squirrel to shut up! Then I heard thunder and I ran to the closed door, pushed it open with my head, and ran inside to the safety of my mother’s arms. Yeah, yeah.. shut up!

xx,
Oakie

Mom can be a mean bia sometimes. When I am comfortably sleeping on the floor, she likes to put a heavy blanket on me. Aww you say? Not aww! The blanket is bulky and heavy and she puts it on top of my body and my head! Suffocating! But I’m so used to it, I don’t even move anymore. I’ll just keep sleeping until she starts to feel bad and takes it off. Can a pup get some peace ‘n quiet around here? Sheesh!

xx,
Oakie

EEK! It’s almost the end of June and I haven’t posted anything for this month yet! And who the heck says EEK? Not me! Mom gave me a haircut the other day. I hate it when she cuts my hair, so I often move around. Then one time she snipped my skin. It was just a surface wound, but sh*t that hurt! And I remembered it the next time she tried to cut my hair. I told her to back off, Oakie ain’t havin’ that! But she still cut my hair. Oh wells.

xx,
Oakie

Who knew I had a gay cousin!? He’s cute!!! And I say that in the most heterosexual way.

xx,
Oakie

ZOMG I’m the cutest Thor ever! I love wearing shirts! Actually, I don’t. But there’s not point in fighting it. Mom will put it on me if I like it or not. I guess it doesn’t hurt that I look super adorbs in clothing either. Pardon me, I must summon Mjölnir and strike down some cats! Thundercats! Ho-ohhhhhhhh!!!

xx,
Oakie