Oakie Poops

Writing blogs is hard stuff! My life isn’t that interesting, so I need to come up with stuff to share with .. uh.. with.. myself.. seeing as no one reads my blogs. But I like to keep the absent informed anyway. So uh, today I had breakfast, then I watched mom go to work, then I slept, then mom came home from work late, then she took me out to poo and pee and I ate dinner. Then I watched her play on the computer and that’s about it. Yay. So exciting.

xx,
Oakie

Here I am playing with my best friend Purple Guy with Big Feet. He jumped away from me when we were playing fetch. I tried to grab him with my mouth, but he missed and bounced all over the place. And then he made a squeaky noise. I love it when Purple Guy with Big Feet makes squeaky noises. When I hear that, I know it’s time to party! I’ll drop everything for Purple Guy with Big Feet squeaks!

xx,
Oakie

Happy Fourth of July!!! Actually, it’s not that happy for me. I don’t like fireworks. All those loud popping sounds scare me. It’s like its thundering outside minus the rain. Holy crap it scares the poop out of me! I find mama and I hid next to her, or I’ll hide under the bed or in the closet. Too bad she went out for a BBQ and left me at home ALONE! How could she do this to me!? I was so scared. She didn’t get home until late. I was ready to poop out the crap that was scared out of me.

xx,
Oakie

July, July, July, it never seemed so strange. I got that from The Decemberists. I’m a hip dog. I listen to bands you’ve never heard of.

I’m starting to run out of stuff to blog about. Everyday is about the same. I sleep, eat, poop, repeat. Tomorrow is mommy’s day off. Maybe we’ll do something special and I’ll write about it. But probably not. She’ll probably go shopping without me and leave me home. Weep!!

xx,
Oakie

Happy Tuesday but not LOST Tuesday again! Last night when ma took me out for my poo and pee time, I saw a rat crawling along the power lines! I looked up, there was a sparkle in my eyes, and then I went charging for it. Ha. I guess I thought I could fly up to the power line to catch the rat, but I just hopped and ran along the grass til I could run no more. I think I scared the rat away with my manly barks. It was around 11pm so I probably woke the neighbors, too! But that’s okay, I was just warning them of rat danger! Oakie to the rescue!!

xx,
Oakie

Mama took me out to poo today and on the way back in, she saw something on her socks. She thought she stepped in my poo because it looked like a little piece of brown mush. When she went to wipe it off, it squirmed and then she realized it was a baby slug! Ma thought it was cute, but I didn’t care for it. I was like meh, slug, whatevs. But ma thought it was cute enough to photograph and told me to post its photo on my entry today instead of a photo of me. Can you believe it? The nerve! But I listened to her like the good boy I am. So, enjoy Sluggy because today is the only day you’ll get to see him! Muahaha!!

xx,
Oakie

Mondays! Yuck! I hate ’em as much as mama does. After sleeping in over the weekend, I kind of want to sleep in on Monday, too! But I gotta get up when mom gets up. Luckily, as she gets ready for work, I can sneak in a quick nap before she takes me out to potty. After that, mom leaves for work and I go back to sleeping. It’s a stressful life, but somebody’s gotta do it! And that somebody is me!!

xx,
Oakie

Phew, I’m still tired from yesterday! All that playing and all those belly rubs, it really stresses a dog out! I also showed them my new trick, and holding & waiting for a treat that’s balanced on your nose is no small task! That took a lot of energy out of me! I wanted to rip into that treat ASAP! And then mom had to stay up late to clean the place before going to bed. I got tired of waiting for her to take me out to poo & pee, so I trotted to her room, jumped on her bed, and went to sleep! HA! I’m so brave jumping on her bed while she’s home! But she was taking so long with the dishes. I figured she wouldn’t come back to her room for a while. And then I fell asleep and she caught me perched on her bed covers. Uh oh. She called me a bad dog and then gave me a hug. She’s a weird one.

xx,
Oakie

Total blue balled! Mama wasn’t home to greet me after uncle picked me up from the kennel. I haven’t seen her in a week! Where the heck is she? At least I’m not at the kennel anymore, and I’m glad I have a backyard to run around in and a house to play with my toys in. I had diarrhea today. What the heck where those ladies feeding me? I made a big stinky loud squirty fart on my uncle as I pooped. It was fun!

xx,
Oakie

Dear Diary, I need to stop counting the days because this is getting too depressing! I will just wait for the morning when the ladies that are taking care of me give me a bath, then I’ll know I’ll be seeing mommy soon! She is always so happy to see me, she gives me a hug and a kiss! YAY! Oops, I always seem to write when I’m about to go out for poopoo and peepee, so I’ll chat ya later!

xx,
Oakie